Look At Me - Blog Entry #21 - My Family's View
Recently, a few of my family members have been criticizing my relationship with Jarred and one of them is really pushing it. My gramma only made one comment, which was true at first. She said that he was an embarrassment to me, but that was only because I had never been around someone with ADHD, so I never really knew what it would look like or how an ADHD person would act. But I am over it.
ON the OTHER HAND, there is my mom. She has stated repeatedly that he really isn't my boyfriend. It isn't my fault that she had to get a newer car. If she had gotten an older car, maybe I could have had enough money saved to see him again. I've spent two years apart from that man and it is NOT without my share of tears and heartache. I'm starting to have second thoughts on whether I should invite my mom to my wedding with Jarred later. I'm being the polite one, staying quiet and knuckling under, but if she keeps making those snide and hurtful comments, then she's really pushing it. Just cause she never got married doesn't mean she needs to criticize my new found love for him and hurt me. She wrote me a going away letter for one of my english assignments and here's what it says:
September 20, 2012
To My Loving Daughter Bryanna,
As you approach womanhood there are many things that you should know before I feel like I can release you into this world, as it is now.
There are a lot of things out there that can happen and it is crucial that you keep a good head on your shoulders and always think about what you do before doing it. Remember, for every cause there is an effect.
You are the most important person in my life and I could not be happier or more proud of the daughter I have today. Never have you given me a hard time or caused my any grief. I know it hasn’t always been easy, living with Asperger’s and not realizing that you had it until age 15, has made it rough. Never having a lot of peers to hang out with and just be girls, but in spite of that you have turned into a beautiful, smart, morally sound young lady, that I am so very proud of.
While my hope is for you to go to college, if you need to work instead of go to school, you must remember to try and reach your goals. Do not get distracted by frivolous things. While I want you to enjoy your college days, keep your priorities in sight.
Do not trust any and everyone, because there are cruel and crazy people out there who prey on naïve young girls. I would never tell you something that isn’t true, I need to know that you fully understand how important it is to make the right decisions. I know some day you will meet your prince charming, and you will get married, believe that. BRYANNA you are an amazing girl that anyone would and should be proud to have be there side.
You have always had pretty good judgment but now you are entering the real world where supporting yourself is what happens. NO more living off mom and expecting me to pay for everything, it’s time to realize that you are all grown up and an adult. While you go to school or choose to get a job, I promise to guide you into the financial side of the world and teach you how to have your own bank account and how to manage your money and not be wasteful.
One thing I have always told you “Don’t mess up your credit”. I stand behind what I say. I made the mistake of messing mine up, and all you end up with is a hard life living in less than ideal apartments.
I want you to have the best and succeed beyond your wildest dreams. You deserve the world and I wish I could give it you!
I love you more than life itself, and life without you means my life will stop. YOU ARE MY OTHER HALF. When you hurt I hurt.
Always remember, I am here for you no matter what. Don’t ever think you can’t come to me with anything. I will always have your best wished in mind when I guide you through life. I do trust that you will make the right choices in life, you have so far, and I can’t complain. Love Mom
"You will find your prince charming?" I've already found him. She's in denial too? On top of making rude comments? "When you hurt, I hurt." Hello?! You're hurting me by criticizing me and my relationship. I swear to God, I have the memory of a freakin' supercomputer and I DO remember those specific comments and a few other things I hear my family members say. Maybe one day, she'll get a little memo and learn her lesson about making fun of her daughter's first actual relationship. I have been teased for ten agonizing years and when someone like this comes along, you hang onto him and never let go!
Personal Poll (Leave a comment after reading this!) - DO YOU THINK IT'S RUDE TO CRITICIZE YOUR DAUGHTER'S FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP (THAT'S WORKING OUT FABULOUSLY) WHEN THE MOTHER AND/OR FATHER KNOWS THAT THEIR CHILD'S BEEN BULLIED FOR TEN LONG YEARS? GIVE ME YOUR FEEDBACK. BYE!!!